Woah, this was a mind-boggling read, well done! There haven't been all that many pieces that are able to build a world in such a mysterious but well-written way. It felt like you knew exactly what emotion you wanted this piece to invoke, and you did it with excellent precision! There were a few typos to be aware of in case you ever expand on this (I would love to see you do something with this!) but other than that great work!
I like making the pixel squares and drawing the things for the games.
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Comments
Holy fuck, that twist was SERIOUSLY out of left field, and I loved it. Right up until the halfway point, I was getting some serious Plomo vibes. I thought it was going to be a story pretty similar in tone to that game, and my mind was wandering, thinking about the parallels. Not just the setting and tone, but the idea of stubborn men chasing their doom in a dogged way, as if they see their fate at the end of a barrel as destiny and not their own choice.
Thinking out loud, I'm not sure how much was meant to be purely symbolic and what was literal; having this man wandering the desert where hallucinations are common lends itself well to that ambiguity. Personally, I like to think these things all happened in the story's world, even if they were manifestations of his feelings. The line I latched onto towards the end was “You were told to follow the signs, this is all your fault.” Both true and not true, though. Everyone told him *not* to go to
Bulliciosa. If he was seeing signs that were telling him to go there, it was his own damn fault... Just like the beast said.
One other thing I loved was the way you often assigned human characteristics to objects, in lines like "the first bullet lodged itself within the liver, perhaps trying to remove the alcohol from the body of the soon-to-be corpse as fast as possible." That's something that I feel shows off the power of writing, and it's used in a way that can't be pulled off in other mediums.
All in all, awesome story!
Amazing thoughts you shared about the story, thanks a lot! I won't deny that after making PLOMO my mind has been fixated on the idea of Western tales taking place on a similar world. Thanks again for sharing your opinion, this was just what I needed to finish up translating a novel I wrote in Spanish that shares similar vibes to this whole thing
Remi-le-Oduen
That was an interesting reading, love the theme of Wild West ghost towns. I will not deny that I was confused about the ending and the monster part and would like some things to be explained or at least less mysterious. The main thing that stirred my suspension of disbelief was the Goldwell. The bounty hunter's aim is supposed to be killing his target and for that he needs strength. Yet when he is out of supplies and tired as hell he just heads out of Goldwell immediately without trying to restock or rest, which was illogical.
Other than that, nice story, even if somewhat confusing.
TheGorondorf
Thanks! But oh boy you are in for a treat with the next game I'm releasing if you thought that short story was confusing